Posts by Miriam

His Presence Before His Provision (from 31 Days of Encouragement – Miriam)

“YOU WILL SHOW ME THE WAY OF LIFE, GRANTING ME THE JOY OF YOUR PRESENCE AND THE PLEASURE OF LIVING WITH YOU FOREVER.” Psalm 16:11

One evening my husband Jim and I were sitting at our kitchen table visiting with a friend when she said, “I’d rather have His presence before His provision.” God used those words to speak truth to my heart that night. We had been experiencing some really difficult days that month as we trusted the Lord in the area of provision. Wasn’t it neat of God to use this “unplanned” visit from our friend to remind me that His presence in my life is more important than His provision? I sometimes get so overwhelmed by what I don’t have in the way of material things that I forget what I do have – my Heavenly Father’s presence with me moment by moment. Don’t get me wrong – I would love both at the same time; however, it is my desire that I would choose His presence first.

Interestingly enough, during this difficult time when we struggled more than ever before to make ends meet, I also felt God’s presence more than ever before. Though I cried harder than I have cried in a long time over our financial situation, I also felt unspeakable joy which could only come from the presence of the Lord in my life. He spoke to my heart as I spent time in His Word. One morning as I read from Psalm 62, I was encouraged by these words in verses 7 and 8:

My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me. O my people trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.

What a precious thought! I can pour out my heart to the Lord. He is my Refuge and my Rock. He won’t let me down. God not only let me experience His presence through His Word but also through family and friends, words of encouragement, notes and gifts. I experienced His presence through divine appointments He brought our way like the friend who shared that statement at our kitchen table or the time we “bumped” into a friend when we stopped at the “wrong” gas station and that friend not only encouraged Jim verbally, but also slipped him a monetary gift.

Most importantly, I have experienced God’s presence as Jim and I have shared these difficult times with our children and reminded them of God’s faithfulness to our family. We have been able to help them see God’s goodness and faithfulness to our family through some awesome, teachable moments. We have prayed together as a family and then seen God answer those prayers. Sometimes the answers are not what we had hoped, but they are answers nonetheless.

How about you? Would you rather experience His presence before His provision? Do you know what it means to truly know God as your refuge and your rock? In a world where much of life seems uncertain and shaky, I encourage you to put your trust in the Lord, who is our Rock and can be trusted. Spend time in His Word daily so you can come to know Him as your refuge just as I have.

He Knows Your Name (from 31 Days of Encouragement – Beth)

“BEHOLD, I HAVE INSCRIBED YOU ON THE PALM OF MY HANDS.” Isaiah 49:16

Sometimes I struggle to remember people’s names. The funny thing is that I will call someone by the wrong name in a skinny minute and not even realize it! I’ve tried to overcome this problem. I even took one of the Dale Carnegie memory booster courses that teach people how to readily recall information, such as names. I got an A in the class AND  had perfect attendance. Still I cannot remember people’s names.

Did you know that God, the Creator of the universe, knows you by name? Unlike imperfect human beings, He never forgets our name.

“You have enclosed me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance.” Psalm 139:5, 14-16

Max Lucado writes in Grace for the Moment, “Quite a thought, isn’t it? Your name on God’s hand. Your name on God’s lips. Maybe you’ve seen your name in some special places, on an award or a diploma. But to think that your name is on God’s hand and on God’s lips…could it be?”

It is your name, my friend, which is written on God’s hand. Your name is spoken by his mouth and whispered by his lips. “Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands” (Isaiah 49:16).

When you experience loneliness or perhaps you feel abandoned, let me remind you of God’s promise in Isaiah 45:2-3.

“I will go before you and make the rough places smooth; I will shatter the doors of bronze, and cut through their iron bars. And I will give you the treasures of darkness, and hidden wealth of secret places, in order that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by name.”

Yes beloved, He knows your name.

Let me encourage you to take a few minutes and thank the Lord for this promise. Write your name below and picture your name in the very palms of your Creator God.

Contentment (from 31 Days of Encouragement – Laura)

“NOT THAT I SPEAK FROM WANT; FOR I HAVE LEARNED TO BE CONTENT IN WHATEVER CIRCUMSTANCES I AM. I KNOW HOW TO GET ALONG WITH HUMBLE MEANS, AND I ALSO KNOW HOW TO LIVE IN PROSPERITY; IN ANY AND EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE I HAVE LEARNED THE SECRET OF BEING FILLED AND GOING HUNGRY, BOTH OF HAVING ABUNDANCE AND SUFFERING NEED. I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH HIM WHO STRENGTHENS ME.” Philippians 4:11-13

The women came into the room for Bible study and took their places at their assigned seats. They all wore identical prison issue jumpsuits. As I sang, they worshiped God with me. I can still see their radiant faces. We had a common bond – Jesus Christ. Despite the grim circumstances, these sisters showed great contentment, especially in some of their prayers. One woman prayed, “Please join me and stand with me, giving thanks to God for allowing me to obtain mercy. Now I can find grace in time of all my needs.” Contentment is determined by perspective. These prisoners were looking to Christ and finding contentment despite their circumstances.

Paul was in prison when he wrote a letter to the church at Philippi. It becomes very clear as you read this letter that Paul maintained an eternal perspective even while in the worst of conditions. He begins his letter with the salutation, “Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:2). Grace and peace are words of deep contentment, revealing an understanding of God’s sovereignty. Paul is content because of his eternal perspective.

When I lose this eternal focus I can easily become discontent. My daily life is the place where I struggle; all those mundane chores that have to be done again and again. You can name yours, I’m sure. Looking at my work, I lose perspective. When I see the precious faces that benefit from my work, I am given a perspective that brings contentment. Another quick way to lose your focus is pride. Most of us have an excessively high opinion of what we deserve. I have heard it said that we should all remember three words: I deserve hell! The Exemplary Husband by Stuart Scott lists some manifestations of pride: anger, outbursts, a critical spirit, listening poorly, blame shifting, self focused, haughty look, complaining and passing judgment on God. I find this list quite convicting.

God uses this daily classroom of life to teach me the secret of being content. Am I willing to adjust my focus and find contentment no matter the circumstances? How about you? Next time you sense a lack of contentment because you think you deserve better, check your perspective. Think about the prisoner, Paul, and his words to the Philippians.

“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

How Is Your Faith Under Pressure (from 31 Days of Encouragement – Miriam)

“YOU KNOW THAT UNDER PRESSURE, YOUR FAITH-LIFE IS FORCED INTO THE OPEN AND SHOWS ITS TRUE COLORS.” James 1:3

When things are going well it is easy to trust God. However, when life heats up and the pressure is on, do you still trust Him? Over the years as my husband Jim and I have been on the staff of a faith-based ministry and have had to raise our support, there have been many times when our faith has been under pressure. In the midst of these difficult times we can choose to “let it be an opportunity for joy” (James 1:2), or we can let the pressure overcome us. It is a choice to be joyful in the midst of difficult circumstances. Don’t get being joyful confused with being happy. Happiness depends on your circumstances, but joyfulness endures in spite of your circumstances.

In September, 2007, we had a week that was full of pressure for our family. Our finances were very strained, our youngest son, Mark, got a mild concussion during football practice, and our daughter, Rachel, was in a car accident. I could have chosen to have a meltdown that week, but instead I chose to be joyful. Please understand that I made this choice based on years of trusting the Lord and His faithfulness. It also came from spending time in His word on a daily basis. That is what gives me the ability to trust Him under pressure. The Israelites had a habit of looking back at what the Lord had done so they could go forward. The psalmist said, “I recall all you have done, O Lord; I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago. They are constantly in my thoughts. I cannot stop thinking about them” (Psalm 77:11-12). You and I can do the same. When life heats up and you feel the pressure, look back and remember how God has helped you and sustained you in the past.

When I look back, I remember when Mark was born and he wasn’t breathing. As I lay there in my bed and the doctor was working on him, I remember praying, “Lord, he’s in your hands. We committed him to you from the moment we knew about him. Jim can’t help. Even the doctor can only do what you allow. Please be with my baby.” Mark was in special care for four days and grew better each day until he was released. He has no lasting effects from his difficult entry into the world. As I write this, he is almost 16 years old and is six feet, one inch tall. I have so many moments like that which I can look back to when my faith is tested or under pressure.

How about you? When difficult times come, will your true colors show that you trust God? Will you be able to look back and see the hand of God in your life?

Set Free (from 31 Days of Encouragement – Beth)

“THEREFORE THERE IS NOW NO CONDEMNATION FOR THOSE WHO ARE IN CHRIST JESUS. FOR THE LAW OF THE SPIRIT OF LIFE IN CHRIST JESUS HAS SET YOU FREE FROM THE LAW OF SIN AND OF DEATH. … FOR THE MIND SET ON THE FLESH IS DEATH, BUT THE MIND SET ON THE SPIRIT IS LIFE AND PEACE.” Romans 8:1-2, 6

Her name is Lisa Elliott. I met Lisa at a women’s conference in the beautiful mountains of North Carolina several years ago. Lisa was a drug addict whose mother invited her to this particular women’s conference because she was desperate for Jesus to set her daughter free. I vividly remember meeting Lisa that weekend. She immediately hugged me and said, “I am so glad I am here!” There was an instant connection between us and I knew in my spirit that God was up to something.

Lisa sat on the front row during every session as I taught about conditions of the heart. From Genesis 6:5, she heard that the intent of the thoughts of man’s heart is only evil continually. We also discussed Romans 6:12-14 which says, “Therefore, do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey its lusts, and do not go on presenting the members of your body as sin instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law, but under grace.”

As the weekend progressed, I began to see Lisa become more and more uncomfortable with what she was hearing. She would often leave the room during the session, but then she always returned within a few minutes. You see, God was at work in Lisa. Lisa didn’t know what was happening, but God was setting her free from the bondage that she was in.

Saturday night, Lisa heard teachings from 1 John 1:9 that said, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” The Holy Spirit began to move in Lisa’s life again, and I witnessed this precious woman call on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. I even noticed that Lisa’s countenance began to change.

During the last session of the conference, Lisa stood up and spoke to the group. She said, “I am an addict. I have asked Jesus to set me free and forgive me of my sin. Will you pray for me?” One by one, women from all over the room stood up and walked to the front of the room to lay hands on Lisa and call on the name of the Jesus for her sake. Lisa was set free that day!

Lisa’s name is derived from the Hebrew form of Elizabeth and it means “Oath of God” or “God’s promises.” Today, Lisa is resting in God’s promises and walking out her faith. She has been redeemed by Christ and set free from the bondage that she lived in. Since that conference many years ago, Lisa has led her children and her husband to the Lord, and she continues to enjoy her freedom in Christ.

Have you been set free? Are you bound by sin, thinking you are unable to get out of it? Jesus says, “I have come that you might have life, and have it abundantly” (John 10:10). Christ can set you free. Will you ask Him?

Freedom in Surrender (from 31 Days of Encouragement – Laura)

“WHERE THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD IS, THERE IS LIBERTY (FREEDOM). BUT WE ALL WITH OPEN FACE BEHOLDING AS IN A GLASS THE GLORY OF THE LORD, ARE CHANGED INTO THE SAME IMAGE FROM GLORY TO GLORY, EVEN AS BY THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD.” II Corinthians 3:17-18

There have been many times of surrender in my life as a mom. I remember bathing a screaming four-week-old baby girl and saying to myself, “I can’t do this one more time.” Ever so sweetly the Holy Spirit whispered, “You are the only mother she has. This is your job.” As my face was bathed with tears, I relinquished my rights in surrender to the Lord as He called me to motherhood right there. Freedom invaded my heart as I gave myself over to the power of the Holy Spirit as a mother. The Christian life is full of opportunities to surrender. I agree with Corrie ten Boom when she writes:

“The growth of the Christian life does not stop at the first surrender, any more than marriage stops at the wedding ceremony.”

What is surrender? I have heard it defined this way: disposing of one’s self to become another’s property-giving one’s self up or over into the power of another. This is not a popular idea in our culture. We are programmed to be self-sufficient, independent. Becoming another’s property or allowing another to have power over us is foreign. Most of the teaching in scripture is counter cultural. In case you don’t know, if you’re a believer, this world is not your home. As moms, we must raise our children to go from dependence on us to dependence on God. Independence is not a Biblical term. As a matter of fact, it is the opposite of surrender. This is where we struggle as Christians. We were never meant to live apart from dependence on God. We can’t live the supernatural life without dependence on God. That’s why so many Christians are not living in freedom. They refuse to allow God to have power over them. They hold on to the power of independence and yet live in bondage. God is calling you as His child to a life of surrender.

The evangelist Tony Evans says that surrender is “saying ‘yes’ to God before you know the question.” This suggests a total willingness to do whatever the Lord asks me to do. That is a place of complete trust and we will only trust God when we know His character. When we say “yes” to God before we know the question, it’s as if we stand before God with open hands and a willing heart saying, “Lord, I don’t even know what you’re going to ask me, but whatever you ask, Lord, I will do. Wherever you send me, I will go.”

Are your hands open in surrender or are they clenched in independence? Are you insisting on your own way or admitting your helplessness apart from Christ? Is there anything in your hand today that the Holy Spirit wants you to release? The Lord is calling you to experience freedom today by surrendering to Him. As He speaks to your heart, He will enable you to obey and surrender. It is the only way to freedom.

“Jesus, all for Jesus. All I am and have and ever hope to be. All of my ambitions hopes and plans. I surrender these into Your hands. For it’s only in Your will that I am free. Jesus, all for Jesus. All I am and have and ever hope to be.” Robin Mark

Learning to Trust (from 31 Days of Encouragement – Miriam)

“TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART; DO NOT DEPEND ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING.” Proverbs 3:5

For as long as I can remember, my Momma would print the above scripture in every card she gave me or in my Bible that she and Daddy gave me. This verse is her life verse. She and my Daddy have built their lives on trusting in the Lord, and they have taught this to me and my brothers.

In September, 2004, I spoke in Florence, South Carolina, for a women’s conference on the topic of “Learning to Trust.” My talk is based on the book Learning to Trust by Bill Jones and Terry Powell along with my own personal experience and what the Lord has taught me through them. Interestingly, I first wrote this talk when we began our walk of faith with the Lord into full-time ministry with a missions organization called Crossover. At that time I had several examples to use of God’s faithfulness and how we were trusting Him. That was in 2002. Now jump ahead two years to 2004, and God was again so good to give me many new examples. I say this with a hint of sarcasm.

The week before I spoke it was as if God was really tenderizing my heart to the point where I could be vulnerable when I spoke to the women at that conference. I was very emotional, even a little down, which isn’t the norm for me. The Monday night of the week I spoke, I attended open house at our children’s school. I was in our daughter, Rachel’s, English class listening to her teacher talk about American Literature. She was telling us that when the literature gets too heavy and depressing, she brings in scripture to show the students why the people were so down. She said that often when people are down and it seems like there is no hope, it is because they are having trouble trusting in God’s sufficiency. Wow!! It seemed God was sitting there pointing a finger at me. I was really struggling with trusting Him through this difficult time in our lives even though I could look back and see how He had sustained us and provided for us in so many ways. I’m so much like the Israelites who saw God do miraculous things yet continually doubted Him.

That same week I read a devotion in a booklet our church gave us that said, “Worry is a warning light that Christ has been shoved to the sidelines.” I thought, “Okay, Lord, I’m starting to get it.” Through that week and into the conference, God showed me all over again that He could be trusted. I know God used me to give His message to those women, and at the same time He reminded me of His faithfulness.

Jump ahead to the present day – 2008. God continues to give me fresh examples in my life of how I can trust Him. He has never failed me – not one time! How about you? Do you trust the Lord? Have you tested Him and found Him to be true and faithful?

She Wears Jesus Well (from 31 Days of Encouragement – Beth)

“… AND PUT ON THE NEW SELF, WHICH IN THE LIKENESS OF GOD HAS BEEN CREATED IN RIGHTEOUSNESS AND HOLINESS OF THE TRUTH.” Ephesians 4:24

Ann Fallaw wears Jesus well. Ann is my mother. She is one of the godliest women I know. I cannot write about her without my heart overflowing with gratitude to the Lord. She is so much like Jesus, and she wears Him well.

I grew up in Brazil, where my mother and daddy were missionaries. I have vivid memories of both of my parents giving so much of their lives to what God called them to do. I can remember often finding my mother spending quiet moments worshipping the Lord in her daily activities. She loved her family and loved working toward Kingdom growth.

My mother spent her mornings at home teaching my four sisters and me and the afternoons ministering to the countless needs of those in the community. When the evening arrived, I would often find my mother lying on her bed with her Bible on her chest and her glasses on her nose. She needed the Lord’s refreshment at that moment, a fresh and encouraging word from Him. She did not turn on the television or call a friend. She did not try to figure everything out on her own. She worshiped and fellowshipped and talked with Jesus. She listened to the still, small voice as He spoke to her spirit. The more time she spent with Jesus, the more she became like Him. My mother knew how to put on the likeness of Christ and wear Him well.

For many years, my mother has learned to wear Jesus by studying about Him and faithfully reading through the Bible. She demonstrated her obvious love for the Lord more and more every day. For the past eight years, she has devoted herself to reading a Bible through and making love notes and “dicas” (the Brazilian term she uses when she wants to make a loving suggestion to me), for each one of her five children. She is now reading and making notations in a Bible for each of her nine grandchildren.

My mother breaths, moves and exists because of who Jesus is in her life. She shares Christ with everyone she meets. You cannot have a conversation with Ann without being moved by her unashamed and undying love for her Lord and Savior. Over a lifetime, Jesus has used the time she spent in His Word to weave His likeness into her being, thread by thread, creating a beautiful tapestry of His likeness. She wears Jesus well.

Do you wear Jesus well? When people see you, do they see Jesus? Do they see the tapestry of the influence of Christ in your life? Let me challenge you today to “put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth” (Ephesians 4:24). Wear Him well today.

Garments Of Grace (from 31 Days of Encouragement – Laura)

1) THEN HE SHOWED ME JOSHUA THE HIGH PRIEST STANDING BEFORE THE ANGEL OF THE LORD, AND SATAN STANDING AT HIS RIGHT HAND TO ACCUSE HIM. 2) AND THE LORD SAID TO SATAN, “THE LORD REBUKE YOU, SATAN! INDEED, THE LORD WHO HAS CHOSEN JERUSALEM REBUKE YOU! IS THIS NOT A BRAND PLUCKED FROM THE FIRE?” 3) NOW JOSHUA WAS CLOTHED WITH FILTHY GARMENTS AND STANDING BEFORE THE ANGEL. 4) AND HE SPOKE AND SAID TO THOSE WHO WERE STANDING BEFORE HIM SAYING, “REMOVE THE FILTHY GARMENTS FROM HIM.” AGAIN HE SAID TO HIM, “SEE, I HAVE TAKEN YOUR INIQUITY AWAY FROM YOU AND WILL CLOTHE YOU WITH FESTAL ROBES.” 5) THEN I SAID, “LET THEM PUT A CLEAN TURBAN ON HIS HEAD.” SO THEY PUT A CLEAN TURBAN ON HIS HEAD AND CLOTHED HIM WITH GARMENTS, WHILE THE ANGEL OF THE LORD WAS STANDING BY. Zechariah 3:1-5

A life-changing vision. An enemy rebuked. A Priest transformed. The result? A liberating change of garments portrayed by the prophet Zechariah in the third chapter of his book. Joshua the High Priest (who represents Jerusalem – God’s chosen people) is standing before the angel of the LORD with Satan standing at his right hand to accuse him. This position belongs to a prosecutor in a courtroom. Satan is always ready to devour and condemn. But God says, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). The Lord rebukes Satan, reminding him that Jerusalem is the “chosen” of God. Grieved by her sin and having punished her people with 70 years of captivity, Jehovah God has delivered His people out of this fiery trial as His very own possession; Satan has no power over God’s chosen. Those of us who belong to Christ are like a “brand plucked out of the fire” (verse 2) by God’s miracle of grace – “the free gift of God” (Ephesians 2:8). Satan finds himself powerless over those who are in Christ both then and now.

“Joshua was clothed with filthy garments and standing before the angel” (verse 3). These garments are a symbol of sin and are “polluted by the flesh” (Jude 23). Notice that Joshua is standing before the angel of the LORD even in his filthy garments of sin. We can embrace the wonderful truth that God looks on us with eyes of grace even in our mixture of sin and wrong motives. He hates our sin but does not destroy us because of His grace. At the angel’s request, the filthy garments are removed from Joshua (the chosen) and he says to him, “See, I have taken your iniquity away from you and will clothe you with festal robes” (verse 4).

What an incredible trade! Filthy garments of sin and fleshly rags of self-righteousness for festal robes of the High Priest. These new robes are expensive, beautiful and made of clean, white fine linen fit for a bride. Pure garments represent the blood of Christ poured out at Calvary for the chosen, His bride. God did not abandon Joshua in his nakedness after He stripped him of his garments but cleansed and clothed him in garments of salvation – garments of grace. “He has clothed me with garments of salvation; He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness…” (Isaiah 61:10).

Can you say with Isaiah that God has clothed you with garments of salvation? Have you put your faith in the redeeming blood of Jesus Christ resulting in salvation? You are one for whom Christ died! Are you surrendering daily to His choice of clothing for you? Have your garments been changed? Come as you are. Let the Holy Spirit of truth speak to your heart, show you your nakedness apart from Him and wrap you in His garments of grace.

“For the robe is of God that will clothe your nakedness. And the robe is His Grace; it’s all you need, come as you are.” Wes King

Leaving Imprints (from 31 Days of Encouragement – Miriam)

“A WORTHY WIFE IS HER HUSBAND’S JOY AND CROWN…” Proverbs 12:4

“SHE CAREFULLY WATCHES ALL THAT GOES ON IN HER HOUSEHOLD…” Proverbs 31:27

“…OLDER WOMEN MUST TRAIN THE YOUNGER WOMEN TO LOVE THEIR HUSBANDS AND THEIR CHILDREN…” Titus 2:4

There are many ways to leave an imprint on someone’s life. I believe the way in which I will leave imprints is to passionately pursue becoming a crown to my husband, a haven to my children and a compass to younger women.

Proverbs 12:4 goes on to say, “…a shameful wife saps his strength.” I believe God has called me to leave an imprint on my husband’s life by building him up, not sapping his strength. I can build him up by speaking words of encouragement to him, by loving him unconditionally, and by praying for him. Over the years Jim and I have been married, there have been many times when I did not make the wise choice to speak kind, encouraging words. However, when I choose to respond in the right way, Jim’s response to me is the same. When I pray for Jim and let him know that I am doing that, he knows he is not alone in his daily struggles and battles.

Over the years as our three children have grown up, I tried to make our home a haven – a place where they felt safe and loved and where they wanted to bring their friends. However, more than anything I personally want to be a haven to them. I desire to live in such a way around my children that I will be one of the first people they come to no matter what is going on in their lives, leaving an imprint of stability and godly character. I can remember specific times in each of our children’s lives when things were difficult. Thankfully, they chose to come to me for guidance, love, protection. I was able to point them to the Lord and His Word for each of their circumstances. Proverbs 31:28 says, “Her children stand and bless her….” I pray that my children will one day be able to do the same.

Finally, I want to leave a lasting imprint as an older woman in the lives of the young women God brings across my path. They may be younger physically or just spiritually. Titus 2:5 goes on to say that older women are to train the younger women to “live wisely and be pure; to take care of their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.” There are so many “younger” women who simply need encouragement to live the life to which God has called them. I am thankful for the older women who helped me and the younger women the Lord has brought my way for me to mentor or disciple.

How will you leave imprints? Will it be on your husband or children or a friend along life’s way?